Well let's get started....

Well, I've never Blogged before, but I figure now is as good a time as any to start. I love to journal, and I figure this is a good way to process and reflect on all the 'going ons' in my life. So here's my life in a nutshell. My life has changed dramatically in the last 5 years. I was single and living on my own for 8 years until I married my wonderful husband Titus .

After 2 years of trying to get pregnant, we decided to look into adoption, and 2 years ago August we adopted Jesse at 14 months of age. A year later we adopted his sibling Brooklyn at almost 9 months, and 7 months later we added to our family again with our sweet little Braedon, who was almost 4 months old.
So our house is busy to say the least. Jesse started pre-school 2 mornings a week a few weeks back and is loving it. Brooklyn loves it too I think. a few hours a week she can play without worrying about her big brother stealing her toys or bossing her around. ;)



Jesse's first day of Preschool


It's been almost 7 months since Braedon came to join us, and guess what? Turns out we have a big decision to make again! We found out recently that in December a new sibling for our kids will be arriving into the world. My first response? I started crying! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't even wrap my head around it. I couldn't imagine saying 'yes' to another child at this point and couldn't imagine saying 'no'. Either decision filled me with guilt. My "mommy heart" was breaking. We're already so busy! 4 under 4? How insane would that be?

So to prayer we went, and called in back up. We immediately asked our close friends and prayer group to start praying. Mostly I needed God's peace. And God is so good! Before I knew it my anxiety was gone, replaced with a sure knowledge that my 'Father' had it all under control. He has the future already planned... for all of us, we just need to find out what it is and get on board.


God has gently reminded me, THIS BABY IS NOT A MISTAKE! God created this life with his very own hands. Every day this child grows under his watchful loving eyes. He loves this babe so much he was willing to die for him/her. He has a plan!

Psalm 139 :13-16 NLT
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother's womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed."

Already in this short amount of time, after just a short few days, I know my emotions are not to be trusted. I already love this child as my own, how could I not? S/he's a sibling to my babies. But is this the best decision for us? For this family? For this baby? How much is too much? Or how many is too many? Could God actually be asking this from us?
I can think of a hundred reasons why it's not a good idea. And some people have been very quick to point them out ( So I know we'll be facing some opposition if we decide to go ahead with this)

The What ifs? To name just a few

What if we can't do it financially?
What if we don't have the energy?
What if family and friend's don't support us?
What if the stress is too much?
What if something were to happen to either one of us?
What if this is not the last baby?
What if this baby is not healthy?
What if.... What if.... What if.....


But then I realized something else, really the ONLY 'what if' that matters is if we are walking outside of God's will! I know from experience (and how many examples in the Bible) that living outside his plans is just a recipe for disaster and it's painful. Regardless of who you are or what decision you're making or where you are in your life.

JEREMIAH 29:11-13
"For I know the plans I have for you,' says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."

And so I've told Titus, he would have to decide what is best for us as I am already too emotionally involved and am afraid at this point that I couldn't hear God's leading. At this point I would say 'yes'.
I will not try to persuade his decision in any way. The way I look at it, if he at this stage in his life, (he just turned 50) feels God lay this on his heart, that will take a miracle in itself. And if it is God's will he will provide all our needs.

PHILIPPIANS 4:19
" And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus."

If he decides adding to our family is not in the plan, then God has a different life and family waiting. We both need to be excited about this or it's not in the books for us. I trust Titus and I trust my God to lay it on his heart, and he will if that's his plan. And God is trustworthy.

PROVERBS 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take."


So please pray with us as we seek God's guidance. My friend Gail suggested we host a prayer night with friends and family to seek God's will together. We both think that would be wonderful. Everyone is invited! We'll let you know when. In the meantime please pray with us if you have a heart of prayer or have a heart for intercession or just live to far away.


please pray
1. for the health of this wee wee one regardless of what family s/he will join
2. for Crystal (the biological mother) for her physical health as well
3. for Crystal's spiritual health- that God would work a miracle in her life and set her free from her addictions.
4. for unity between Titus and I
5. for a clear picture of the future God has dreamed up for us
6. that we both would be able to hear God's leading
7. for God's peace and protection in this home and marriage
8. anything else God lays on your heart!

MATTHEW 18:20
" For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them"